How Looking Back Can Turn Into a Bad Thing

How Looking Back Can Turn Into a Bad Thing

Inspired Truth
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.” (Genesis 19:26)

Do You Have a Hard Time Letting Go?

I did, after being a proud owner of a gift & home decor shop for almost ten years. My struggle to let go continued on for quite awhile, until I released my will into God’s hands. Then He was able to show me areas of my life He wanted to reshape.

I admit, owning a store was a lot of hard work, but so are most things in life. However, I felt it was all worth it. There were many things about the experience I enjoyed, and that I miss doing. To name a few; It was a pleasure helping customers pick out the perfect gift for the special people in their life. I enjoyed assisting customers with color schemes, and decorating their homes. I also enjoyed merchandising the store to make it fragrant, and appealing to people’s five senses.

One of the greatest benefits of owning my own store was that I had the say to pick out the kind of music, product, and the type of atmosphere I wanted to create for my customers. So, when they left the store, not only were they satisfied with their purchase, but also fulfilled with the whole shopping experience.

Another benefit I also had, was the ability of being able to minister to the people who reached out for it. Over those years special relationships were formed. That’s something I would’ve never been able to do if I were not the boss. On numerous occasions customers would share their life struggles. Sometimes it was a sickness, a passing of a loved one or a prodigal child. Having the opportunity, and privilege to pray with them in their time of need, were some of the most fulfilling times in my life.

So you can imagine when it came time to close the store how sad it was for me. However, God used the circumstances going on in our lives at the time to speak clearly to me. And I knew it was something I had to do.
On the other hand I couldn’t understand why He allowed things to turn out the way they did.

The first couple of months after I closed, I was so busy that I didn’t give it much thought. Unfortunately that changed about six months later. It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. What I knew, loved, and enjoyed for the past ten years had disappeared as if it never existed.

My Consequence For Looking Back

During that period of time I had signs of resentment, and roots of bitterness began to grow. I was constantly looking back, and missing the satisfaction I felt from owning my own business. Nevertheless, I knew those feelings taking place in my heart were not good. My feelings were also creating animosity between my husband and I. Instead of me facing the reality that God was in control of the circumstances, I had started to blame my husband for the outcome of the store.

It’s now two and a half years later, and when I visit certain gift shops my heart begins to ache. I can feel the urge for another store starting to creep in as I start to look back. At that point I have to remind myself where those feelings took me, and of the dangers of the emotional place I don’t want to return to. Looking back may not have turned me into a pillar of salt but it certainly paralyzed me from moving into the future.

It’s a hard thing when God asks you to let go of something you really enjoy. Yet I know in my heart He will replace it with something better. In the meantime I try to focus on “forgetting what is behind, and strain toward what is ahead.”

One of the lessons I’m learning through this all is to hold things loosely. God wants us to keep growing, and in order for that to happen pruning sometimes must take place. Not only is God removing the dead debris in my life, He is also planting new seed.

Even though I can’t see His plan clearly yet, I am thankful for the changes and the NEW things God is doing in my heart.

Is looking back keeping you from enjoying the present, and moving forward to your future?

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Marriage Links:

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2 Comments

  1. Lydia

    Cheryl, I’m so happy you were able to have the store ythat was once only a dream. You’re completely right about holding anything we’ve been given loosely. My dear mom had that attitude all through her life and it may have passed to me but the desire surfaces from time to time. You’re honestly is so refreshing. Our control can certainly keep us from God’s purpose. God bless you as he leads…maybe this is the green pasture and still water. Love,

  2. Hi Lydia, Thank you for reading! Yes God is good! It was a blessing to be able to fulfill one of my dreams. I am excited to see how He will use me next. There are a few things in my heart, just waiting for The Lord to open doors.
    It was really nice to hear from you. I hope all is well.

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