I grew up in what you would call a dysfunctional family. My parents divorced when I was 4 years old, which left my brother and I devastated and broken. Its an ache in the heart that never goes away. Still, after 52 years when I review those memories in my head it brings just as much sadness to me now as it did then.
I know my parents loved both my brother and I but we never had a real sense of security growing up. Our mother’s life was always chaotic, and my Dad remarried and started a family of his own.
In spite of all the devil tried to destroy in our lives, God made a way to bring blessing out of a mess. The result of God’s faithfulness brought my brother and I closer and closer. I don’t consider our relationship to be one of an average brother and sister. We have weathered some really hard times growing up, and we haven’t always agreed.
It’s almost eight years ago, that our mother first got sick. At that time, there were many decisions that had to be made in regards to her care, and her estate. There were very difficult and unusual circumstances that our mother was leaving us, and with the three of us living in different states, it made the situation even harder.
During that time, there were numerous occasions when the devil tried to use these circumstances to destroy the relationship between my brother and I, but he always failed. It was by the grace of God, and the loving support and wisdom that my brother and I received from my husband, that made the death of our Mom bring the three of us even closer.
My brother and I still live 600 miles away from each other, but I am trusting God to open the doors for him, and his family, to live here with us. In spite of the distance between us, he still makes it a priority to visit with us twice a year during the week of Thanksgiving, and the week before Memorial Day. His visit was extra special this year because he came with his two daughters, my beautiful nieces. One of them is married to a man we all love, and they have a beautiful little girl named Evie.
While they were here visiting, my 4 grown children take turns hosting a dinner. The nights were filled with laughter as we played games and recounted stories from years ago when they were growing up together.
One day during the week we like to visit a museum, zoo, aviary, or somewhere new that we haven’t been to together. Usually, we have a day to shop, and maybe visit a flea market but we were unable to do that this year due to restrictions from covid 19.
The last day of my brother’s visit we have our annual croquet game, barbecue and bonfire at my house. My brother and I usually end our visit by staying up late sitting by the fire, and reminiscing. Our conversations are usually about how good God has been to us, our kids, and things we would like to do and see in our future.
Every year as we drive to the airport early in the morning for his
departure, it’s usually in silence. We have an occasional laugh over something that happened during our visit but for the most part the sadness of us separating again, is obvious.
Many years ago, by the strength of God, I decided I wasn’t going to let my family’s dysfunction that I grew up in, affect the desire to have my own children. Growing up in an unhealthy environment only made me more persistent to be a good mom.
Over the years Jesus has taught me many things, One of them being to let go of the past, and trust Him for my future. If I cling to the hurt of my past I will miss the blessing the Lord has for me today.
I realized a long time ago that life is way too short, and because of that I learned to change the position of my priorities. Your list may not look the same as mine, but that’s ok, these are my priorities, and they are in this order;
1. God/Jesus who has first place in my heart.
2. My husband who I love, respect, and are one with.
3. Our family
4. Church family, and others.
As I look at my priorities I realize they are not things, they are
people. People who I love with all my heart, and when I keep them my top priority, my life is content, and my joy is complete.
Today thinking about this blog, and reflecting on my family, I started to feel so thankful and I begin to sing this song by Maverick City Band;
“My Soul Sings” (click on it to listen.) I pray it will stir a spirit of thankfulness in your heart as it did for me.
My Soul Sings Lyrics
